I know this is lazy of me but I'm tired to write original so I thought I would pass this along. I received it in an email ages ago but still laugh when I read it and I hope you will too.
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
8. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
9. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
10. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
12. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
13. Honk and wave to strangers.
14. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
15. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
16. type only in lowercase.
17. dont use any punctuation either
18. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times."DO YOU HEAR THAT?""What?""Never mind, it's gone now."
19. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
20. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
21. Ask people what gender they are.
22. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
23. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
24. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
25. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook while muttering something about "psychological profiles."