Murder, A Clean House and Cookies..

What a productive day it has been! I cleaned the house, watched Halloween (again) and Halloween 4, did laundry AND baked oodles of cookies. My house is now in the perfect state for my murder. As you know I am apt to think like this but really if it must happen, let it be at a time when everything is in it's place and there are fresh cookies to boot. I imagine the officers here remarking on my clean house and how delicious the cookies are as they comb for clues. "What kind of monster would do this?" they will say. "She obviously kept a clean house and these cookies are to die for, ha ha ha. " They will joke like that since it is the only way they can keep their sanity. They will leave with the promise to bring justice to my loved ones. After they're home they might talk about it to their wives and after hearing about how clean my house was and that I made cookies they will resolve to be a better wife. "If she could do it, so will I" they will vow. My death will bring many people closer together. It's the least I can do.

At my funeral, which will have police escorts (I already asked, OK begged, and the Sheriff's Office said I could) people will talk about the senseless of it all. I hope the turnout is a good one. There is nothing sadder than a funeral with a poor turnout. I like to think that I will be looking down at all assembled. I'll wonder who that one is or why that one's there. And I'll wish I'd been nicer to some that took the time to come out in this weather (it will be raining, of course) I'm sure some will not be in attendance but I will not be mad at them because they will regret it for the rest of their days and so there's really no point. In the end everyone will get their "give-aways" (aka t-shirts) and will feel that while it will be hard to go on without me, they must, because that's how I would have wanted it.

I think that we should be as nice as we can to people we encounter for two reasons. First, they may know someone who could make you famous and second, you want your funeral list to be as long as you can get it. I'm starting with that thought in mind tomorrow. Sometimes it will be hard but I will keep on keeping on and if they are just too much I will be nasty because after all, who wants someone like that at their funeral?