Shoes, turtlenecks, the scar on my neck and a red purse...

I hate to shop. There, I said it. I like to buy things and I like to have things but if I could push a fast forward button to get me through the actual shopping part, I would. As a result I buy as much as I can online. I know what some of you are thinking, "Buying clothes online, without trying them on? That's madness, pure madness!" And you would be correct in your thinking if not for one thing, finding a brand and sticking with it. Take me for example, for the most part I buy all of my clothes from Chico's or it's sister store Soma (which is a gross name for a store, I know) online. As a side note, Chico's recently acquired a store call White House/Black Market but they have different sizes and since they started to add khaki and denim to their line up I am somewhat reluctant to continue giving them my business. I mean, why call a store White House/Black Market and not just stick with the original idea of all things black and white??!! Anyway, I digress. My point is when I go to those sites I know exactly what size I wear so when it gets here I know it's going to fit. There are a few other reasons for shopping with the 1) their sizing..00, 0, 1, 1.5, 2 and so on up to 3.5 I believe. No where else on God's earth do I wear a 1.5 in pants and I'm not lying when I tell you it feels great! 2) You get coupons in catalogs, a gift certificate for your birthday and free shipping and 5% off when you are a "member" (go to their site if you need more information) and finally 3) Most of the time they will have a free gift box option which I always choose because then when it comes I feel like I'm opening a present!

Some things, however, are harder to buy online.

Shoes are one of those things. My mom and I went shoe shopping tonite and while I like the idea of having alot of shoes I loath the idea of buying said shoes. I went looking for brown and black flats and had an idea in my head of the perfect shoe ( my perfect shoe involved not only soft and supple leather but also had some sort of leopard pattern strategically placed) So, fast forward to the end result I did get a brown pair, a black pair and yes, one pair of leopard flats. I have held a special place in my heart for all things leopard print since I bought a pair of leopard boots in Nordstrom in 2005. I was told by the salesman that I had the only size 9 in these particular (and quite pricey) boots in town. Looking back he was probably lying to me but he got the sale and so I say "Well Done" to you, my Nordstrom shoe salesman, "Well done."

I am also not a real fan of buying purses. Again, like having them, just not that into buying them. I tend to have many black ones. I couple years ago I bought a pink Kate Spade bag and envisioned myself being known as "The girl with the pink purse." Great for one season but then I'm sure I was known as "That girl who keeps carrying that same damn pink Kate Spade purse. It's winter for God's sake, get a new bag!" So this year I am keeping my eyes out for a nice, big red purse. Yes, this fall/winter I will be known as the "The girl with the red purse." Which is better then being known as "The girl with the scar on her neck that looks like someone cut her throat." It is true, mes amies, sad but true. As a result of my recent surgery I am left with what could quite possibly be considered a "crime scene" or perhaps "injury sustained as a result of a heinous crime" is more appropriate. As I am apt to do I imagine my photo on some poor, tired police detective's desk ( I also imagine he is getting on in years and is quite close to retirement.) Every day he begins his shift knowing it will be full of problems with no answers, crimes that left victims demanding justice and a secretary who, for whatever reason, keeps forgetting that he HATES decaf and through it all the only constant in his otherwise unpredictable day will be my photo and the promise he made to me that he would find my attacker and justice would be served. You see why the red purse is quite an urgent need. "Draw the eyes away from the neck area, away" says Tim Gunn. After the original unveiling of what was previously a bandaged neck I was rather hysterical. My Saner Half was quick with all the right words " It's not that bad honey, really, it just needs to get some air ( yuk!), you'll see, by tomorrow it will look much better" and on he went as we made our way home, a place from which I felt sure I would be unable to leave for fear of the staring and pointing. As we got closer to home he said, and believe me when I tell you this because it is true, " You know, I wish I had a scar like that. I think it would be cool." !!!!!!! And to answer your question, yes, he said it with a straight and surprisingly earnest face. I thanked God for the fact that it was fall and decided to not leave the house unless one of two things were in place 1) a turtleneck, which as luck would have it I happen to own very nice ribbed, silk, sleeveless turtlenecks in a rainbow of colors courtesy Chico's or 2) a scarf, of which I have one. I would be known as "The girl who always wears a turtleneck or scarf" Not a nice thought considering that I would have to invest a considerable amount of money in scarves as they are quite dear and also because it reminded me of that old scary story about the woman who always wore a ribbon around her neck and then someone took it off and with it came her head. Turtlenecks it would have to be! I did that for about a week or so and then decided to venture to the grocery store in a V neck shirt. I did notice some staring but that was probably because I was walking around with my head tilted to the side in a feeble attempt to try to hide the scar. In the end, I made the very grown up decision to abandon all thoughts and attempts to hide it ( "Love me, love my scar" that will be my motto) and instead get a nice, big, red leather purse :)

My friends, I know that money is tight these days so I would like to share with you some things to keep in mind and possibly try. If your favorite store is having a sale or clearance and they have pants you want to have but the only sizes are too big, buy them anyway and take them to the dry cleaners for alterations. It most cases that will run about $20 for them to take in the waist and hem them for you. Also, I have been taking things to consignment shops. Even though any money you get is much less than what you originally paid you can put it towards something new. Like maybe a red purse?