And they're off!

Before we begin let me bore you rather quickly about me. I feel that it is only fair you know something about me before we start this journey together. I have been happily married for nearly 20 years and yet I am only 36 (soon to be 37 but more on that later) We have 3 teeneagers ages 19,17 and 14. Yes, I was a teen mother. Funny, teen mother to mother of teens, fate is a cruel, cruel mistress. I'm sure it would bring some much satisfaction to know that for all I put my own mother through I am being paid back ten fold, my friends. Okay, enough background, let us begin......

As a result of a car accident 3+ years ago I have been home from work for going on 5 weeks now (read: surgery required). Staying home from work for a extended period of time is one of those things that looks good on paper. Now, I know myself, and I know that once I go back to work I will long for these days of no alarm clocks or schedules but (and you will learn this in time) I feel a constant need to want what I don't have and so these days off have become insanely boring and monotonous.

One week before my surgery I went to my hair dresser, Lesley, so that I could start my convolesence with bright new highlights and a haircut that would not require too much of my time. After I left the salon I went ot work. I was greeted with "nice hair Dawn", "hair looks great, very classic" and more. Proud of my forward thinking and imagining myself lying in bed post-surgery with my books and magazines, my bright high-lights and my "classy" haircut I smiled, secretly thinking that I would look like a patient from a soap opera. You see, I constantly have 1 of 2 things on my mind. First, that there is a chance that I could be killed in the night and when the police came to to scene they would see dishes in the sink or some other mess and that is how they would refer to may case " You know, the one where both sinks were full and no one bothered to clean the litter box.." And secondly, that I could be "discovered" at anytime. Now, I don't mean the sane thought of "Oh, I might be discovered because I'm walking down 5th Avenue shopping in those smart shops and someone might ask me to be their spokesperson (although those thoughts do cross my mind but instead of 5th Ave it would be Generic Mall USA) I mean that I sometimes think that perhaps for some crazy and unable to explain reason I will be lying in bed (or on the sofa, or in the sunroom, you get the idea) and someone will come into the house and say "My God, you are perfect for this modeling job, TV show, movie etc. that I have been planning!" And so you can see why I was so proud of myself for taking steps to make sure that, even while in a haze of pain killers, I would be camera ready. Alas my friends, it was not to be. You see, the day I went to work and got all of those compliments my hair had been fixed by the talented Lesley and not by yours truely. The next day was quite different. "Dawn, your hair looks great!" was replaced by "What happened to your hair?" My hair is the bane of my existence. I try to let it do what it wants so as not to anger it but it has not worked thus far. I have quite a bit of wave which requires Herculean efforts to dry and straighten so that it isn't all sticky uppy all the time. I'm not sure what happens between my bathroom and my drive to work but it is not pretty. Honestly, all the drying and straightening, brushing and serum and hairspray and 25 minutes later it looks like I just woke up. I'm going to start taking my picture before I leave the house and I'll hold the days paper next to my face so that people can see the date and know that no, I didn't oversleep and run out the door with only time to change my clothes! Let me share with you a true story about how my hair has betrayed me...We went to Universal Studios this summer and one of the "rides" was a sort of thing where there is audience participation. They had us all huddled in a room and were asking for a child, a muscle man (to which my husband refused to raise his hand, he, does not, aspire to be "discovered) and the like. And then my friends it happened, they asked for 2 men and a woman. Let me preface the following by saying that we had the unfortunate luck of being in Fla during hurricane Flo and so consequently our trip to Universal was peppered with gale force winds and heavy rain. Weather be damned I rose my hand (actually jumped and waved like a fool) and was chosen!!! As I made my way up to the front of the crowd to at last take my spot on stage I remembered what happens to my hair in the humidity above 5% not to mention hurricane conditions. No matter, I thought, there will be make-up and hair styling involved. Why I thought there would be time for all of this on a "ride" that lasted all of 15 min is beyond even me. We all went into another room and the audience took their seats and we "actors" were given our places on the stage and then instructions as to what we were to do and when. After we all played our assigned roles we were permitted to reunite with our families and proceed to the next leg of the "ride" which was to sit in a subway car and watch our "movie" on small televisons throughout the car. The kids said I did great but I was unable to focus on anything other than how fecking bad my hair looked!

I hope your fall has had a great beginning and that even in these budget crunchy times you have been able to treat yourself to something new for the season.